T’was The First English Christmas

T’was the morning of Christmas

And all through the house

Not a  creature did stir

But Steve’s insomniac spouse.

 

She waited downstairs

With tea and the clock

Listening for the patter

Of the Big Fella’s socks

The tree stood brightly

Under the stairs

Waiting to divulge

The Sainsbury’s finds that lay there

The Big Fella emerged

And bags were undone

To reveal Christmas gifts

That were thoughtful and fun

Christmas dinner was served

And what a feast did await

Of  fine vegan haggis,

Roast veggies and ‘tates

Pudding and custard

Was the next festive taste

And it sat very comfortably

On ever expanding waists

 

Toys were then played with;

Steve danced to a song

I tackled the jigsaw

But got most pieces wrong

Twas the first English Christmas

For two Tassie folks

A day of warm memories

And a few cheesy jokes

 

Twas the first English Christmas

And all through the home

Were fun festive moments

For two who run, ride and roam.

 

Footnote: The official results of the Sainsbury’s Christmas Challenge were these:

I received a bag of carrots, a running magazine and a jigsaw puzzle of a puddle of baked beans (a bit like trying to do a jigsaw of the sky!)

Steve received a t-shirt (he’d been missing the feel of cotton and saying he wanted a cotton t-shirt to sit around in!), some chocolates, a Billy Joel CD and a pack of Christmas jokes.

The things you can find in Sainsbury’s supermarket for ten quid!

As a final word, here’s a couple of festive jokes from Steve’s pack of joke cards…

Why was Santa Claus unemployed?

Because the elves gave him the sack!

Ha ha ha

What do you call the reindeer with cotton wool in his ears?

Call him anything you like – he won’t hear you!

Ho ho ho

MERRY CHRISTMAS!